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The current period marks a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” hit the mainstream. Back then, the notion that someone could suddenly stop contact with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the height of rudeness. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more confounding – an oftentimes pointless endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by online slang.

Generation Z, a demographic who came of age during a social isolation crisis, a male identity reckoning, and a coordinated assault on the freedoms of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex environment than their Gen Y elders could ever fathom. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown longer and more deranged, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” straining the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a detailed glossary to the words this generation is using to talk about love, intimacy and the search of both. To echo one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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A

Authenticity – For gen Z, dating’s ideal is showing up as your true, raw self. Best wishes with that!

B

Avian theory – A social media test inspired by a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your date's reply is engaged or brushed off. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while radiating mystery and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

C

Chair theory – This signifies going for someone who supports you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A outing where two people connect while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do budget-friendly dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can spiral over a crush or breakup, dumping all of your unreciprocated feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 80s young urban professional excess, it refers to partners who choose against having children to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of playing it cool: practicing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Signals

• Red flags – Personal quirks suggesting a potential partner is bad news. Such as calling their former partners unstable, poor tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions validate your choice to pursue a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, having a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe specific, largely inoffensive idiosyncrasies. Such as being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their purse, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who hates the same stuff or people that you do (nothing builds intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and loyal. The rare boyfriend who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully delaying climax so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An archetype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no goals of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Random and often mundane dealbreakers that instantly shut down any feelings of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an incredibly thoughtful display.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in fields they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be waning since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance realistic.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {